


happy birthday to you

by discordiansamba



Series: abyss of memory [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 07:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16383557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discordiansamba/pseuds/discordiansamba
Summary: Pidge does some calculations, and makes a discovery that prompts a celebration.(in other words, a Keith birthday fic for abyssverse)





	happy birthday to you

**Author's Note:**

> Keith's birthday is tomorrow/today (depending on when this posts), so it's time for a special fic to celebrate! I've always had a birthday fic planned for this series ever since I first started it, but the story advanced at a quicker pace than I expected! And yet, at the same time, not quite so fast enough that I felt comfortable including the clone in this chapter- so, that said, this is set between "the care and keeping" and "roar of rebellion", just in the early fringes of season four, before the discovery of the clone, Regris' near death experience, and finding Matt.
> 
> That said, please enjoy this, essentially bonus chapter! Next time I update this, we'll be back to the main storyline!

The sound of something popping filled his ears as soon as he stepped out of the Marmoran transport pod. He felt himself bristle, standing up straight, tail on full alert- before he realized that this was no surprise assault, that the Castle hadn't been taken over while he was away.

No, it was just the paladins. Each holding some kind of strange cone-shaped device, presumably the source of the noise- and likely, the colored paper wafting about the red lion's hangar.

Kethe realized he had no idea what was going on. None at all.

When he had left on his mission, things had been normal. He'd just needed to extract some information. They were chasing a new strain of quintessence, one that had Kolivan puzzled. Other than that it was likely linked to Lotor, they knew next to nothing about it- beyond its basic properties, which were off the charts.

During his absence, something had clearly changed.

It wasn't that no one ever came to greet him when he came back from Blade missions- but it usually wasn't _all_ of them. Even Allura was there, though she hung a bit back, as if she didn't want to risk spoiling the mood. Coran was just busy trying to brush colored paper off his face- apparently he had fired the odd little device in the wrong direction, towards him.

"Uh," he began, knowing just how uncertain he sounded, "-did I miss something?"

His clueless reaction to what was probably meant to be a cheerful display of some type sobered the mood, making it feel a bit anxious. Like they had gotten ahead of themselves, and maybe hadn't fully thought things through.

Shiro's the one to step forward first.

"Pidge was doing some calculations while you were gone." He began. "I'm sure you know we keep time a bit differently on Earth than you do out in space."

Kethe nodded, knowing instantly what he meant. He had grasped the concept of things like _hours_ and _months_ easily enough, like it was second nature to him. Probably because it was, but it still took him by surprise given how little he actually remembered of Earth.

Which was to say, nothing at all.

"I figured out a way to translate _space_ time," Pidge hurriedly jumped in with an explanation of her own, "-to _Earth_ time. You know, figuring out how long we've been out here, what month it is back on Earth- I even was able to narrow it down to the day, more or less."

"Oh," he perked up at that, tail swishing behind him, betraying his eagerness, "-is it some kind of holiday?"

He knew this one! Lance and Hunk had explained it to him! There was New Year's, Halloween, Valentine's, and a bunch of others... including the strange holiday named _Christmas_ , where they eagerly anticipated a large red man breaking into their homes and stealing their sweets and dairy products in exchange for leaving them gifts.

He couldn't recall any that involved surprising people with colored bits of paper, but maybe they hadn't told him about them all.

"I guess you could say that." Shiro told him. "It's your birthday, Keith."

Blinking, Keith stared at him for a long moment. "My what?"

"You know, your birthday." Hunk said. "The day you were born?"

"Aw man, don't tell me we have to teach you about birthdays too." Lance frowned.

"I know what a birthday is." Kethe said quickly, choosing to ignore the fact that he hadn't, not until Hunk had told him. It should have been kind of obvious- it was literally in the name, but humans could come up with strange names for things, so he couldn't be sure.

"I just don't understand why it would involve... what are these anyways?" He asked, plucking Shiro's straight from his hands, peering curiously into it.

"It's a party popper!" Pidge readily supplied, handing him her own, which he took with just as much interest. "Lance and I made them."

Frowning, Kethe rolled them both over in his hands, momentarily distracted by the presence of a new thing. He filed them away under his growing list of strange Earth objects of which he saw no purpose for- and then wordlessly, tucked the two used party poppers into his belt.

"Okay, I guess you're keeping them." Pidge frowned.

"You still didn't answer my question." Kethe noted.

"I think I can answer that, Number Four!" Coran piped up. "It seems that on Earth, you humans celebrate your birthdays with various festivities! Why, we used to do something rather like it back on Altea, except it's more for young children, there."

Bristling a little at that, Kethe frowned. "I'm not a child."

He already got mistaken for one enough by Blades who didn't know him, or by those who weren't otherwise familiar with him- he didn't want to think that the paladins had been thinking that the whole time too. Especially when they should know better- sure, maybe he hadn't gotten the specifics of his exact age yet, but he knew he was older than Lance and Hunk at least, and they were both seventeen.

"No," Shiro said, "-but we tend to celebrate birthdays for a lot longer on Earth than they did on Altea."

His tail twitching in thought, Kethe looked up at Shiro. It was a lot of information to take in- both this strange tradition of _birthdays_ , and the fact that it was apparently _his_.

"We were planning to celebrate," Shiro continued, "-but we'll understand if you don't want to."

Tilting his head, Kethe's gaze flickered towards the other paladins. He could do it without them picking up on the fact that he was looking at them- a trick that didn't work on Allura and Coran. True to that, the princess caught his eye, merely giving him a small smile before looking away.

He quickly focused back on the paladins. They looked... excited, and Kethe suddenly felt bad. Maybe celebrating his birthday was a way for them to feel a little more connected to Earth- and since learning that it had somehow been _his_ fault that they had all ended up in space to begin with, he couldn't help but feel guilty.

Maybe... maybe he should just let them.

After all, how bad could it be? He didn't know anything about birthdays either, not really, so maybe he could use this as a chance to learn a bit more about Earth's culture.

His _own_ culture.

Tail drooping, he dropped his gaze. He still couldn't fully wrap his head around that- Galran culture felt like it was more his own than anything the paladins ever talked about. But it had felt like that in the beginning when he had first started to learn about the Galra too, so maybe all he really needed was time.

Looking up, Kethe shook his head. "It's fine. I don't mind."

"Great!" Lance piped up. "Why don't you get changed out of that Blade armor, and meet us in the lounge in like, oh say, half a varga?"

"Half a varga is good." Hunk said.

"Why?" Kethe blinked. "What's in the lounge?"

"Oh, you'll see." Lance told him, waggling his brow in a way that very briefly made Kethe want to just rip it off. But he wouldn't do that. Lance was his comrade in arms, even if he did sometimes do things that annoyed him.

"It's meant to be a surprise." Shiro told him.

"Is... are surprises part of birthdays?" Kethe asked, brow furrowing.

"You could say that." Pidge told him.

Gaze flickering down towards her, Kethe frowned. She didn't... _look_ particularly impish, not right now. Pidge and surprises usually spelled trouble- he'd learned that very quickly.

"Don't worry," Shiro was quick to assure him, "-I had them run everything by me first."

He perked up at that, finding some small sense of relief in it. Shiro had a very level head- that was one of the first things he had learned about the black paladin. He could understand why the black lion had chosen him.

"I guess I better go change then." Kethe remarked, giving him a weak smile. He still didn't know about this _birthday_ thing, but what was the harm?

He didn't fool himself into thinking that they were doing this specifically for him, though. He'd... sort of started to understand that maybe the paladins didn't hate him, and in fact, maybe they actually _liked_ him- but he still wasn't fully convinced that who they liked was _him_ \- and not just who he used to be.

But he was getting there. His feelings of being some kind of fraud didn't help, and even with Pidge's reassurances that they just wanted him to be himself, the words still somehow felt hollow. Maybe it was just his own anxiety, eating away at him- with his past uncertain as it was, he couldn't help but question everything, including the things he had been told by those he should trust.

It wasn't like _they_ knew the full story either.

And honestly? To some extent, he was still learning who _himself_ even was.

Excusing himself, Kethe made his way to his quarters. It had become easier to think of them as such- not like when he had first arrived, and felt like he was staying in the room of a phantom. One that haunted everything he did, that he couldn't escape.

He quickly changed out of his Blade armor and into his casual wear- maybe a bit _too_ quickly. Frowning, he glanced over at the clock, realizing that not even ten doboshes had gone by yet. There was no way they would be ready in the lounge yet.

And yet... temptation won out.

He'd admit it- he was curious about what this so-called surprise waiting for him was. He knew next to nothing about birthdays, but Coran had made it sound like it was some big celebration. But the whole thing also kind of sounded terribly last minute- so he didn't think they could have prepared anything huge in the handful of days he'd been gone.

Leaving his quarters, Kethe made his way down the hall, keeping his footsteps quiet. His ears twitched, picking up on the faint sound of the paladin's voices. Drawing a bit closer, he started to be able to make out what they were saying.

"No, no, I think it needs to be a little more to the left."

"Hunk," he could almost hear the strain in Lance's voice, "-buddy, I don't think it matters."

"Uh, of course it matters?" He could _definitely_ hear the frown in Hunk's voice. "This is basically like, Keith's first birthday. I want to make it perfect."

"Doing a bit of spying?"

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Kethe pivoted on his heel, reaching for his knife on instinct- only to relax once he realized it was just Coran. The Altean man didn't look the slightest bit perturbed by almost having a knife drawn on him, merely twirling his mustache.

"Just curious." Kethe admitted.

"Can't say I blame you." Coran noted. "They've been keeping Allura and I in the dark just as well."

Arching a brow at that, Kethe's tail flicked behind him. "How long have they been doing all this?"

"Oh, non-stop since yesterday." Coran noted. "Ever since they found out from Shiro that today is supposedly your birthday."

"Supposedly?" Kethe asked.

"You know, give or take a few quintants for time dilation and all that." Coran said.

Oh. That made sense, yeah.

"Now, it's Number One's birthday that's quite interesting." Coran provided. "Apparently its on a day that only exists once every four of your Earth years. Isn't that peculiar?"

"That's... weird, yeah." Kethe admitted. "How do they...?"

"Apparently they do it on the day before, or so I was told." Coran explained.

Making a low hum, Kethe's tail flicked. Turning back in the direction of the lounge, his ears twitched, not missing Lance's deep breath of relief at Hunk having finally settled on a location for... well, whatever it was that was giving them so much trouble.

"I guess they must really miss Earth." Kethe absently remarked.

Back turned, he didn't get to see Coran's assessing gaze, nor his contemplative tug of his mustache. "Oh yes, that's part of it, I suppose."

Lifting his head, Kethe peered back towards him. "What's the other part?"

"You, my boy." Coran stated, as if it were the most simple, obvious thing in the world and not an idea that he was still having difficultly wrapping his head around. "The other part is you."

Frowning, Kethe furrowed his brow. He didn't know what to make of that.

As if sensing that, Coran pat his shoulder. "Well now, I'd say they should be about finished in there. What's say we go see what it is that they've done?"

Slowly nodding his head, Kethe let Coran take the lead. He trailed behind him, suddenly feeling out of place and apprehensive. What Coran said should have been reassuring, but somehow, it only managed to make his skin crawl, as if it felt too tight.

His birthday.

Maybe if he had his memories, it would have some meaning to him, but as it was, it didn't. Celebrating them wasn't part of the Galra tradition, though he'd been taught that once, long ago, there had been a coming of age ceremony held when a Galran child reached adulthood. Since Zarkon's second reign, such practices had vanished- any celebrations had, really.

Even military victories were simply expected, and weren't celebrated. There was no room for joy in the Galra Empire.

It was a thought that made him shudder. None of them really knew what Haggar's plans for him had been, just that they probably weren't pretty. If Ulaz hadn't saved him, if he hadn't tried to escape when he did...

...he couldn't help but wonder if he'd be the enemy. Of not just the paladins, but of the Blade of Marmora as well.

He didn't like the implications of that, so he pushed the thought aside.

But it was enough to make him hesitate outside of the lounge. He froze, suddenly unable to take a single step forward. For a moment, all he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat, heavy in his chest. Placing his hand over it, he couldn't shake the sudden, overwhelming feeling that he shouldn't be here.

Like a phantom come to haunt him.

And then he felt a steady pair of hands on his arms, rough and just a tad on the calloused side. "Keith, hey buddy, you made it!" And then, as if sensing something was wrong, "-you okay?"

Blinking, Kethe looked up, meeting Hunk's eyes. Just as sudden as it had come, the feeling of not belonging slipped away, the phantom with it. He felt himself breathe, air filling his chest, and slowly, he nodded his head.

"Yeah," he said, "-just spaced out a bit."

Frowning, Hunk looked at him with concern. "You sure you're okay? Because we can totally do this some other time if you're still tired from your mission."

Shaking his head, Kethe managed a weak smile. "I'm fine, Hunk. It wasn't that hard."

It really hadn't been, even if he'd nearly been caught by a sentry. Thankfully, he'd been able to take it out before it could raise any alarms, and they had been able to get out with the info without any issue.

It had been an extremely close call, though- one wrong step, and they might have needed to make a hard out. But that wasn't something the paladins needed to know. Not when it hadn't come to that.

Blade work was fundamentally different from his work as a paladin. It wasn't necessarily more dangerous- but Blade work still somehow carried far more risk. He couldn't explain it.

Hunk looked a little unconvinced, but he seemed to accept what he was told. "Well, we're all ready for you. If you know, you're ready."

Taking in a long breath, Kethe gave him a curt nod of his head. "I'm ready."

He had no idea what he was ready for- again, he didn't know the first thing about birthdays. But if they were anything like any of the other holidays that Hunk and Lance had taught him about, he was willing to bet that they involved food.

Food culture, it seemed, was massively important to humans.

It wasn't to the Galra. At least- not anymore. Now it was all just rations and food goo, though the Blades had tried to preserve as much lost Galran culture as they could. Still, cooking was a skill, and few Blades actually _had_ that skill- and recipes were meaningless if one didn't actually know how to make them. Maybe that was why he so often found himself in the kitchen with Hunk.

He could, in fact, smell something sweet. Baked goods, some distant part of his brain supplied. It tugged at something, deep in his mind. Whatever it was, it didn't stay long enough for him to get a solid grip on it, slipping away before he even so much as got a sensation as to what it could have been.

But he was used to that.

"In that case, come on in!" Hunk beamed, lightly guiding him. He allowed him to, only briefly surprised to find that the paladins and the Alteans alike were all waiting for him. "Hey everybody, here's the birthday boy!"

Cracking a smile, Shiro approached him. "Glad you could make it."

"I don't exactly have anywhere else to be." Kethe answered, feeling a little dumb.

Arching his brows, Shiro's grin grew. "Fair enough."

Peeking out from behind Shiro, Kethe tilted his head, taking notice of some strange device set up in the back of the lounge. Pidge's laptop was hooked up to it, and she caught his eye as he looked her way, briefly flashing him a quick grin, before she dived back into whatever it was she was doing.

Catching his gaze, Shiro idly ruffled his hair. "Come on. Why don't you have a seat?"

Touching his hair where Shiro had mussed it up, Kethe wondered at the absent gesture. Still, he found himself making his way fully into the lounge, stepping into the ring of couches that took up most of the center of the room.

Lance, in true Lance fashion, gave him the most overblown bow he could manage. "Your seat of honor."

Knitting his brows together, Kethe stared at him for a few ticks longer than what was probably comfortable for the blue paladin, before sitting where he had indicated. He'd placed him into the dead center of the room, right next to the princess.

"So... any chance you know what this all is?" Kethe asked her.

"I have been here while they were setting it all up." Allura admitted. "I rather think you will enjoy it."

Tilting his head, his tail flicked behind him, growing more and more curious. His nose twitched, leading his vision down towards a table that definitely hadn't been there when he'd left- one that seemed almost laden with food, including the sweet smell that he had picked up on earlier.

He recognized only a few of them, but others, he did not. It all served to remind him that he hadn't eaten since the mission briefing with Kolivan, and in turn, his stomach growled.

"You know," Lance observed, "-I'm no Galra expert, but I'm pretty sure that means you're hungry."

Glowering at him, Lance just took it in stride, ignoring him in place of looking towards Pidge. "So, we got time to get a bite to eat? Maybe cut some cake?"

Barely even looking up, Pidge just hummed. "It should take me another half varga to finish setting up the program."

"I'll take that as a yes." Lance said. "Too bad we couldn't find any space candles."

Kethe blinked. "Candles?"

Rolling his eyes, Lance crinkled his nose. "Please tell me you know what candles are."

"I know what candles are." Kethe frowned. "I just don't see how they would be relevant."

"You're supposed to put them on the cake." Pidge absently supplied.

"Yeah, you blow them out and make a wish!" Lance told him. "The highlight of any birthday party, if you ask me."

Make a wish? Tilting his head, Kethe frowned. He was familiar with the concept, but it sounded so _whimsical_ \- was that really something humans did on their birthdays?

Also, what the heck was a _cake_?

"I still don't see how you'd be able to fit nineteen candles onto a cake of this size." Coran remarked, giving him the answer, whether he knew it or not. "To get them all on, you'd need a cake at least twice this size, if not thrice."

This _cake_ was apparently what was giving off that sweet scent. It was a deep red color, that reminded him of the red lion, and he wondered if it was on purpose.

"You don't use full size candles, Coran." Lance said. "They're like, really small candles. Or they just take the shape of numbers, and you use those."

"Small candles?" Allura frowned. "But then, how do they light your way when you do not have any power?"

"You don't- look, you don't use them for that. They're just for cakes." Lance said.

"Why would you make candles just for cakes?" Kethe asked.

"Because it's a birthday tradition!" Lance said, throwing up his hands, clearly frustrated. "Look, are we going to sit here asking twenty questions, or are we going to enjoy some cake?"

Frowning, Kethe tilted his head. "I guess we can have the cake, then."

"Thank you." Lance said. "Hunk, the honors, if you would?"

Kethe watched with mild interest as Hunk cut into the cake, dividing it up into equal pieces. Scooping them all onto plates, he distributed them to everyone, even passing a plate to Pidge, who accepted it with one hand, still using her other to continue her coding.

"I went simple, this being the first cake I've baked while in space." Hunk stated. "I found these beans on Puig that almost match the flavor of vanilla exactly, so I went with just your classic vanilla cake, with some space buttercream icing."

"And this is a traditional Earth birthday food?" Allura asked.

"Well, I mean, you can _technically_ have cake whenever you want, but yeah, generally on birthdays, there's a cake." Hunk told her.

"Fascinating." Coran mused. "You know, my great aunt, bless her heart, would have had a fit if you made any of our traditional birthday dishes on a day that wasn't a birthday. She was a real stickler for that sort of thing!"

"I'm guessing Altean birthdays were a little more formal than Earth birthdays, then." Shiro remarked, already taking a bite out of his own cake. "Hunk, this is delicious!"

"Aw shucks," Hunk blushed, "-you're making me blush."

Wondering why Hunk was staring the obvious, Kethe absently took a bit of his. Tail perking up, his eyes went wide, taking another bite before he could stop himself. Back on base, sweets weren't exactly something that were ever on the menu- his only prior exposure to them were the cookies that Hunk had made a short while back.

He'd called them his _revenge cookies_ , for some reason. He hadn't asked.

Before he knew it, he'd finished his whole slice.

"Huh," Hunk beamed, "-guess you liked it."

"Keith's always had a bit of a sweet tooth." Shiro absently remarked.

And then promptly winced. "I- sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." Kethe cut him off. "Apparently that's still true."

He knew he'd flinched, but he meant it. That... wasn't bad. And he'd been the one who told Shiro he was okay with talking about the little things. He wasn't about to rein back on that, not without telling anyone, at least.

He could deal with the little things.

Probably.

"Huh," Lance frowned, "-from the way he guzzles his space coffee, I wouldn't have pictured it."

"Do we really have to keep putting space in front of everything?" Pidge piped up. "I mean, we get it. We're in space. It doesn't have to be _space_ coffee, it can just be regular coffee."

"Yeah, but that's no fun." Lance said.

"I'm just saying-"

"Now, now, let's not argue over who calls things what." Shiro cut in. "Pidge, how's it going?"

"Just about ready." She remarked. "Provided this Altean projector Coran dug out actually _works_."

"I'll have you know I checked it very thoroughly." Coran assured her. "Pop-Pop wasn't one to make things that broke easily."

"Well, let's hope not, or this whole birthday present will just be a total bust." Lance remarked.

Perking up, Kethe's tail twitched. "Present?"

"Yeah, a present." Lance said. "You get those on your birthday."

Narrowing his eyes, Kethe frowned. "Was the red man here?"

Lance stared at him blankly. "The red man."

"I think he means Santa Claus." Pidge supplied. "No, he wasn't here. This is just a little something we put together ourselves."

He didn't know how he felt about getting a _present_ \- the part of him that still couldn't manage to clear the hurdle of his own imposter syndrome readily informed him that he probably didn't deserve it. But he fought it back, determined to not let his own self doubts get in the way of everyone's good time.

Including his own.

This was... this was actually kind of fun, he thought.

"Okay," Pidge beamed, "-I think I just about got it. Hunk, think you can start up the projector?"

"Not a problem." Hunk said, mounting the couch and quickly making his way towards where Pidge sat. Glancing behind him, Kethe watched with unmasked curiosity as he powered on the Altean projector. "Lance, think you can hit the lights?"

"Can do, buddy." Lance said, doing just that.

Lit by the projector, the wall directly across them was flooded with white. Someone had closed the doors to the lounge- he couldn't help but wonder when, since he hadn't noticed at all. Resting his hands in front of him, nestled in between his legs, Kethe leaned forward, tip of his tail waving in anticipation, wondering what they had planned.

The pure white image changed, taking on a sandy color. Vaguely, he made out the sound of Hunk muttering under his breath, before the image came into focus.

It was a desert.

Perking up, Kethe lifted his head. He didn't know why, but the image stirred something inside of him. It was just a simple desert view, nothing special.

"This," Pidge began, "-is Earth."

The words took awhile to sink into him.

Earth.

This was- this was _Earth_. His home planet, where he'd been born. Raised.

The place he didn't remember anymore.

It didn't stop at the desert image. Kethe watched as Pidge and Hunk cycled through a bunch of different photographs, each displaying a new kind of scenery. Forests, flower fields, city spaces- a photo of the beach that Lance had whined about being cropped out of.

They were wonderful, glimpses of a world he didn't know, but none of them stirred his heart like the first one had.

Home.

Lifting his head, he didn't know why the thought had struck him so suddenly. Placing a hand over his chest, Kethe felt the sting of something painful- yet, strangely, he didn't hate it.

"Keith," Allura breathed, "-you're crying."

Blinking, Kethe stared at her. Slowly lifting a hand, he realized that she was right- the fur near his eyes was damp. Ah, right- he had tear ducts, unlike most Galra. He'd nearly forgotten.

Which still didn't explain why they were expelling fluids _now_.

"Whoa, Keith, you okay?" Hunk asked, concern evident in his voice.

"I'm fine." He said, a little too quickly. "I'm just- I need some air."

Getting up, he left the room abruptly. He knew he was ruining the mood, but he just needed some space, some time to sort his thoughts.

To figure out what this strange sensation in his chest was.

* * *

"I had a feeling I'd find you here."

Keith stirred a bit at his words, the tip of his tail swishing against the ground. He could barely make out his form, tucked behind one of the red lion's massive paws, but it was hard to miss the clump of purple and black that made up the red paladin.

True to form, he'd changed back into his Blade armor. He'd done the same thing when they had returned from the alternate reality- retreated from everyone else, into what was familiar. Only this time, he wore his jacket over his armor, claws digging into the fabric.

He'd given him some time before he'd gone to find him. It had taken awhile to calm everyone down back in the lounge anyways- Hunk was frantic, worried that they had made some kind of mistake. And well... he couldn't deny he was a bit worried that they had, but he didn't think it was to the extent that Keith wouldn't forgive them.

"I didn't mean-" Keith began, his voice cracking, "-I didn't mean to leave like that. I just-"

"You don't need to apologize, Keith." Shiro assured him.

Keith didn't lift his head, still buried in his knees. His arms were tucked in the space between them and his chest, tail curled around his feet. "I ruined the mood."

Heaving a slight sigh, Shiro gave him a considering look. Sometimes he wasn't sure what to do when Keith got like this- he hadn't quite perfected how to deal with his low moods just yet. Even back on Earth, before the Galra, before his memory loss, learning how to deal with Keith at his lowest had taken time.

But he'd learned.

"Can I sit here?" Shiro asked.

For a long moment, Keith didn't say anything. Then slowly, he nodded his head.

Taking that as a yes, Shiro carefully sat down next to him. Keith's tail flicked, darting out of the way as if he were afraid he'd sit on it.

(He'd done it once, by accident. He'd never seen Keith look so _betrayed_ before.)

"You didn't ruin the mood, Keith." Shiro told him. "I promise."

"Everyone was having fun," Keith frowned, finally lifting his head to look at him, "-and then I started crying. How did I _not_ ruin the mood?"

"Okay," Shiro admitted, "-maybe you ruined it a little. But nobody is mad at you, Keith."

"I don't even know why I was crying!" Keith blurted out. "I just- I don't know. I don't get it. There wasn't anything in my eyes, and nothing sad was happening, so I- it doesn't make sense."

"You got overwhelmed." Shiro stated. "It's okay, it happens. We should have known better than to try and spring all of that on you."

Even back on Earth, Keith hadn't liked celebrating his birthday. He'd tried, those first two years- before he'd accepted that Keith just wasn't the birthday type. Usually, he'd just buy him a cupcake and call it a day, though it never changed the fact that he always felt compelled to do more.

So when Hunk and Pidge had suggested actually celebrating... well, he hadn't entirely been on board at first. But the more they got into it, the more Shiro had- to the extent that yeah, he might have gotten a little carried away, and hadn't stopped to fully think things through. That was his fault.

Eyes going wide, Keith rapidly shook his head, his braid bouncing. "No, it was- I liked it. Really, I just-"

Dropping his gaze, Keith stared down at his hands. "I don't know. I just felt... I kept coming back to the first image."

He didn't miss the significance of those words.

Maybe Keith didn't know, but that had been a shot that had been taken from the porch of his old shack. Hunk had been the one to snap it, apparently, before they had gone to search for the blue lion. Most of the images they had used, they had pulled from the paladins' phones, or Pidge's laptop.

It had _seemed_ like a good idea at the time. But in hindsight, maybe they should have thought it through a little more. Just because Keith was a little more stable than he had been when he had first returned to the Castle of Lions, didn't mean he was ready to be faced with photographic evidence of a life he didn't remember- even if it was just scenery.

Except he reacted to it, which meant that on some level, he _did_ remember. Maybe not consciously, but it was there.

Pidge had mentioned how Keith had recalled something while he'd been sick. A vague, haphazard memory of a hand pressed against his forehead, rough and calloused. Barely anything, but it had been enough to make Keith tear up.

He'd gone silent, he'd realized. Keith did too.

"Shiro?" Keith asked, his brow furrowing. "Did it- did that first image mean something?"

Swallowing, Shiro weighed his options. "It was- you grew up in that desert, Keith."

Something indescribable flashed through the red paladin's eyes at that. Leaning forward, he seemed to search his face for something- before pulling back, placing an idle hand over his heart.

"Is that why it felt like home?"

His voice was weak, like he was almost hesitant to ask.

"Is that how it felt?" Shiro asked, keeping his voice gentle, controlled. The last thing he wanted was to sound _excited_.

Even if he couldn't deny the feeling that bubbled up in his chest.

Keith remembering _anything_ , however fragmented, was a good thing, right? This made two- and maybe they were nothing substantial, not even close, but they were, at least, something. It should make him happy- it was what he wanted.

If Keith never regained his memories, that would be fine. He _meant_ that. But at the same time... he did _want_ it. Maybe it wasn't something he would admit to openly, but he wasn't going to lie to himself either- he knew it was something that he desired.

"Yeah," Keith admitted, his voice still quiet, "-I think- I think it felt like home to me."

Lifting his head, Keith looked at him, once again searching his face for something he couldn't begin to guess. "It felt like home... but it also hurt."

Chewing on his lip, Shiro debated how much he should tell him. Keith was in a fragile place right now- the last thing he wanted to do was to make that worse.

"You might miss it." Shiro settled on.

Frowning, Keith's brow furrowed, like that wasn't quite the answer he had been hoping for. "How can I miss a place I don't even remember?"

"No clue." Shiro admitted. "But life works in mysterious ways, sometimes."

"Well it sucks." Keith muttered.

Unable to help himself, Shiro let out a snort. Turning his head away, he could feel Keith's gaze on him, holding up a hand while he tried in vain to catch his breath, his single snort somehow managing to devolve into a fit of laughter on his part.

It was just... Keith sounded so much like an impertinent teenager. And after having to grow up too fast, then not even being able to remember the reason _why_ , it was... it was kind of good to hear that.

Once he finally quieted down, taking in a long breath, he shook his head. "Yeah," he agreed, "-it does kind of suck."

To his relief, Keith cracked a faint smile. "I should probably apologize to everyone for running out like that."

"Only if you're ready." Shiro told him. "Are you?"

Chewing on his lip, Keith shook his head. Patting his shoulder, Shiro smiled reassuringly at him. "Then you don't have to do it just yet."

They sat in silence for a good while- peaceful silence. It reminded him with a pang of late night study sessions, of watching the stars on the roof of the Garrison.

They'd never get those times back. Neither of them.

But that was okay, he thought. They could make new memories together, experience new things. They would get back to Earth someday, and he could introduce Keith to the constellations all over again, sitting on the Garrison roof with Adam and a mug of hot chocolate.

(Adam. God. He'd let him tell him _I told you so_ until he was sick of it.)

Things had changed. For both of them- he wasn't the same man who had left Earth over two years ago now, bound for Kerberos, hoping to prove himself.

But that didn't mean everything had to change.

"Okay," Keith finally said, breaking him out of his thoughts, "-I think I'm better now."

"You sure?" Shiro asked.

Nodding his head, Keith gave him a weak smile. "I'm sure."

Getting to his feet, Shiro offered Keith a hand. Using it to haul the half-Galra onto his feet, he smiled at him. "You know, I don't think I've wished you a happy birthday yet."

"Oh," Keith tilted his head, in a way that was purely Kethe, "-you probably should."

Cracking a grin at that, Shiro pushed aside any and all thoughts to just live in the moment. Back when he had been in the arena, he'd thought that he wouldn't live to see Keith again, much less survive to see his next birthday.

Yet here he was.

"Happy birthday, Keith."

* * *

Later that night, Kethe sat alone in his quarters, turning over one of the two party poppers he had taken in his hands.

He had gone with Shiro back to the lounge, and had hurriedly apologized to everyone, half tripping over his own words. He wasn't good at that sort of thing, and he couldn't help but wonder if Keith had been just as bad at it. It felt like it was true, but he'd no idea.

Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back against the wall. A vast desert spread out underneath his eyelids, burned into his memory now, and unlikely to be forgotten. It was just a photograph, not a true memory- but it was fine.

Home.

But this too, he thought, idly twirling the party popper between his fingers- this too, was home.

_"But a person can have more than one home, you know."_

Ah, he thought, Hunk had been right.


End file.
